ever so.

i hate being sober

because then my thoughts are able to think for themselves

i crave desire but continue to be undesired

i never want pity, only answers

maybe one day, but it seems like that day is too far to live for

i love the idea of life but not living

this world is too cruel for me, since the beginning

i know i have flaws but i promise i’m a pure soul

even criminals and bad guys deserve a person they can call “home”

i’ve always been friendly but never had a friend that stayed

maybe being too friendly was one of my biggest mistakes

fear of abandonment is what keeps me awake

papers full of words but the ones i put out stay blank

it’s always rainy for me, no matter the weather

but i have eyes on me, so i need to keep it together

i never felt worth the chance, how embarrassing

maybe my views on life aren’t the same as my local inmates

or maybe i need to take responsibility for my pain and let myself go

and understand that i’m very badly off

ever so.